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Tom Nix
I'm not even sure if this widget still works. I don't even know how long its been since I've used livejournal. I don't think any of my friends still read this, which is just as well.

I've had a very, very odd few hours. In a completely unrelated conversation, Evan Doughty came up. I've spent the last severa hours reading his last livejournal entries.

I know this is commonplace to miss someone so much after they're gone, but tonight is really taking a toll on me.

It's been nearly seven years since I lost the best friend I've ever had. Almost everything that I am today is because of Evan. I wouldn't love cinema if it weren't for him. I wouldn't be a computer nerd if it weren't for him. I wouldn't even know my way around the internet if it weren't for the three years I was able to spend with him in college.

He laughed at my jokes. We could debate like no one's business. We would drive down Rt. 43 in Kent in his Jeep for hours listening to MP3s burned on a CD, and they were the highlight of my day.

But today, due to a completely random question, I miss him more than I ever have before. I've tried so hard to forget what life without him really feels like.

It's lonely. It's not nearly as fun. Our friendship was the best relationship I have ever had in my life. It's all of a sudden become increasingly clear that I am missing a huge part of my life, and it hurts.

Evan, you were the best thing to happen to me. I wish I could be everything you were. You are the only reason that I still even halfway believe in a heaven, because I really don't like the thought of the rest of eternity without you.

I hope you'll forgive me for being a winy little bitch right now. I hope you'll forgive me for the last seven years of failing. I know that right now I'm simply typing into an empty internet window, but it makes me feel just a little more connected. I hope this leads to a little more honesty on my part.

I am writing this because right now, I've looked through all of my contacts for someone to talk to, and I don't think there is anyone.

No wonder I've tried so hard to forget what life without you feels like. I'm living it.

This is singlehandenly the most depressing thing I've written in years. I'd like to stop now.

Thanks for listening. It's time for me to start over again. It's time for me to be the man in all the great movies. It's time for me to be the man that makes me proud. It's time to once again be the man who is trying desperately to fill your shoes.

With love,

Nicchus Out.

Current Mood: confused confused

6 atomic bombs // give me something i can feel

(Click for big)


And i'm still missing about 30 or so that are on loan to family and friends. There's also about 30 doubles and crap titles that are off to the side, and some more box sets that aren't visible. Not including Criterion releases (like Seven Samurai and Straw Dogs), TV shows (Like The Simpsons), and titles that came in box sets (Lke Saboteur and Topaz), I have over 90 DVDs within the letter range S - T. It's brilliant.

And also pathetic.

Does anbody want to buy some DVDs?

For Sale:
the great escape
the doors: collector's edition
halloween:25 years of terror
king kong/mighty joe young
the hills have eyes (original)
batman (i bought this back in 1999!)
heat
superman the movie
driving miss daisy
fistful of dollars
for a few dollars more
ghostbusters
dr. strangelove: special edition
black hawk down (regular and superbit)
shawshank redemption
fifth element: superbit
the thin man
texas chain saw massacre (original)
the sting
amadeus
return of the living dead, part ii
the warriors: director's cut
the shining
the thing
walk the line

I dunno what to ask for 'em. Just give me a price.

Hopefully we'll be talking to each other soon(er).

Nicchus Out.
4 atomic bombs // give me something i can feel
I've got a Spider-Man 3 review in the works, but this is news that just can't wait:



Holy shit. July 24th.

If any of you are pissing yourselves right now, I want to be your friend.
1 atomic bomb // give me something i can feel
It's a two-fer! 2006 was more or less a shitty time to be a movie fan, but for some reason, the top five films of this year are among the best seen in over a decade in this country. Here's to the future, and here's to the films that pissed me off the least this year.


#15
The Illusionist


In a year where one very high profile magician flick and one not-so-much-promoted-as-dumped- magician flick were competing for audiences, it was the scrappy one that won me over more. The Prestige is a much more classy film, but the elimination of real magic from the plot, as well as the worlds most obvious twist made it come in at #16, the best film to not make my list. The Illusionist handles itself similarly, although the golden hues used to represent 16th century europe are more beautiful than the stark black and browns used in the Prestige. as an added bonus, although the magic is verbally denied in the Illusionist, it's never disproved and it's that sense of wonder that makes the Illusionist so great. Throw in a Not On Cocaine Ed Norton, and a great turn by Paul Giamatti's vocal chords, and you've got a very satisfying yarn. This film, much like the Prestige, has a useless love interest, but this one with Jessica Biel feels a bit more integral and is a bit less shit than Scarlett Johannson, who peaked at 16. And that goes for her boobs, too.





#14
jackass number two


I'm gonna get the crabs for saying this next sentence: The freakshows that comprise the Jackass crew are the modern day Charlie Chaplins. they get more mileage out of physical comedy than every pratfall in every leslie neilson movie stacked end to end. It doesn't matter that these gents are going to die at 40. I encourage it! It's the best entertainment in the world! I don't even mind that Bam "the Worst" Margera makes 2 million dollars a year just because I get to see him cry his homosexual ass off when accosted by a cobra. Yeah, a cobra. You've got guys being thrown in boxes with cobras. You've got guys getting gored by bulls. You've got Johnny Knoxville almost getting gutted by explosives. You get Ryan Dunn getting shot by an anti-personnell cannon. And you've got Chris Pontius' Point getting devoured by a snake. Listen. It's great. I also realize that this is the lowest-common denominator humour on the planet, and that's why #14 is as far as it will get. Christ. I hope these fuckers live long enough for Jackass 3.





#13
Brick


Despite the fact that this movie, contrary to popular opinion, is shatteringly non-original (Oooh, you set a Philip Marlowe detective story in a high school!), it's wildly entertaining and incredibly well-written, especially for a guy like Rian Johnson, who has never touched celluloid with his brainjuices before. The story follows a high school loner, Brendan, who takes it upon his hard-ass self to find out the wheres and whys behind his ex-girlfriend's troubles and disappearance. This leads him through all manner of seedy locations like the basement of the local drug kingpin's mother's house (See? He's 26 and lives with his ma. She's clueless to her son's evil and it's hilarious) to the noir-ish bridge outside of town to the noir-ish parking lot. He also gets to investigate and get the crap beat out of him by neo-noirish figures like the theater/band princess, the Popular Girl, and the highschool dropout heavy. If it seems like I'm being snarky, it's because I am, but the fact remains that despite it's paper-thin premise, this film is a great one for showing off the immense talents of both writer/director Rian Johnson and the criminally underused (in everything else) Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Brendan. Buy it if you can find it for $10, otherwise give it a netflix queue spot and enjoy the ride.





#12
V for Vendetta


Yes, I know I'm a sellout. Regardless of its BIG MOVIE status and that the directors of The Matrix movies that aren't the first one are the producers, the film is still great. Yep, it pissed Allan Moore right off. Good. He deserves to bitch for a while. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is 4/5 piss and piss, and his latest project is taking fairy tale women and making them fuck things. And that's not a sentence where I use the phrase "fuck things" to mean "ruin themselves." What it means is they take off their clothes and place their vaginas on objects. In lieu of that, the Slightly revised For the Stupid version of V is quite compelling cinema with the emotion hitting in all the right places and the shots being sweet in all the right places. It's a very gripping story that is delivered to great effect by Natalie Portman and the disembodied voice of Elrond. Portman's performance is very good, even through the piss limey accent. And it proves that she can be in huge budget movies with lots of CGi and still give a damn. Hugo seals the deal as the absolute cinematic representation of the character of V. Every syllable uttered by the man echoes throughout the course of the film, and it's his performance that really draws everyone into the story more so than anyone else. This is one of the few comic book movies that will actually get people to BUY and READ comics and not just see films about them. A modern classic it is not, but a classic of the genre it truly is.





#11
Volver


I'd never seen a Pedro Almodovar film before this one, and I had always (wrongly) assumed he was a pretentious dickhole because he refers to himself by last name only. This is not true. He refers to himself by last name only because he can, because he makes damn good movies that are entirely about the human condition. It's a rarity to see such human filmmaking nowadays. Sure, all movies have humans involved in them, but this film (and most of his previous works) are strictly concerned with the trials and tribulations of being a person, and not in the "funny ha-ha" sitcom way or the "oh, isn't that sad" dramatic way. He presents people in a way that hasn't been done since Cassavetes, and it's a pleasure to get wrapped up in the thread he unravels. Penelope Cruz has always been a great actress, who happens to be drop dead gorgeous, and is subsequently cast as the romantic lead or the girl in low-cut dresses, or the boobed sidekick who is there to look sexy. She owns almost every frame of this film about an extended family of women (the only man in this film gets the death handed to him thirty minutes in!) dealing with the fact that their dead mom might not be dead, or at least be a ghost. It's a family story told from both insiders and outsiders and it's a look into small-town Spain life not unlike Fellini's great Amarcord (although that was Italy). It's simply refreshing to watch a filmmaker not quibble with any American (i.e. Popular) storytelling cornerstones and tell a fluid tale about three generations of women who are at the very best and worst times utterly human.






#10
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby


This is the funniest movie of the year starring Sacha Baron Cohen. Yes, funnier than Borat. That last film has a few moments of inspired genius, but too much boring drivel and easy jokes to wear it down. And for better or worse, Talladega Nights did not feature a moustache in a man's crevice. What it does feature is Will Ferrell at his almost-as-funny-as-Anchorman best, although this time, *gasp* there's a plot! And *yerk!* Characters have arcs! It's a small step down in comedy from the anarchist brilliance of Anchorman to the nigh unreachable plateau of Judd Apatow/Adam McKay comedies. John C. Reilly almost makes up for his stench in Chicago as the forver #2 man for Ricky Bobby. And although Cohen's horrible French accent almost steals the show, no one manages to top Will Ferrell. Not even the kids that play his son, who have the best lines uttered by child actors in all of 2006.





#9
Casino Royale


This might be the best Bond movie of all time. It's certainly the most enjoyable for all of the millions of people who are tired of one-liners and gadgets and super-spies. I've said since 2002 that the Bourne movies shit-kick the Bond movies right in da gonads. And now a Bond who gets the shit-kicked outta da gonads is saying, "Hey! One guy touching my dick with malice is enough, Jason." And so it is. Daniel Craig, who is normally very good, proves that he can be incredible given stupendously hot women and ridiculously pimp cars to tool around in. the best part about This Bond movie is it takes all the fiction out of it. The villain isn't a supermanical madgenius who wants the world, he's just a crooked money investor with dastardly plans to get himself and his clients really rich at the expense of human lives that are not his own. Bond fucks up in this one. the bad guy fucks up in this one. It's brash, and bold, but with the right amount of brains at times and the lacking amount of brains at others. It's by far the best action movie of the year, even if it does drag on for fifteen minutes too long. Two things are clear after the end credits start: It's damn great to not have to hear that shitty Chris Cornell song again, and I am totally stoked for the next Bond picture. What is this, 1964?





#8
Running Scared


This movie is everything Crank wished it could be. That film let me down by not being as over-the-top as advertised and being directed by two people whose entire teenage and twenty-something years were apparently spent playing 8-bit Nintendo and eating Ecstacy. Running Scared, on the other hand, does two very important things. It makes Paul Walker into a good actor (holy SHIT), and it goes so far over the top that it barely recognizes that there is a top. We're talking neon-painted hockey-puck face mauling. We're talking little kids being held a knife point by pimps. We're talking cunnilingus on a washing machine. We're talking sugar-coated suburbanite child rape tapers. Combine that with a frenetic visual style, awesome Wayne Kramer direction, and a mixed-in throughline of fairy-tale and fable allusions and you've got two hours of being punched in the face by a movie. Only everytime it hits you with its prison hands, the bruises swell up into tasty treats that you savor in your mouth as the candyblood seeps through your busted lips. yeah, let's see you put that pullquote on a poster, dickheads.





#7
Thank You For Smoking


this film is by Jason Reitman, the son of Ivan Retiman. Ivan should plunge his son into his heart as an act of ritualistic suicide. Why? Jason's contribution to the 2006 canon? The most intelligent and and satiric straight-up comedy of the year about Nick Naylor, the spin doctor and national spokesperson for the nation's biggest tobacco company. His dad's entry into the 2006 filmic year? My Super Ex-Girlfriend. I wonder if Jason will change his name soon. This film is your chance to see the future Harvey Dent in action with one of his most charismatic and engaging performances, Yes, that's Aaron Eckhart, and Yes, he is playing the pre-Two-Face. It's your chance to see Rob Lowe as a taoist/exisentialist movie producer. It's your last chance to see Katie Holmes fuck on screen (at east someone who's not an alien). It's your chance to see the MOd squad (Merchants of Death) in action with brilliant supporting work by the fancy-hot Maria Bello, and the damned sexy David Koechner as the respective spokespeople for alcohol and guns. It's a chance to genuinely enjoy and be enlightened by a mainstream comedy that fires on all cylinders and manages to be a great movie to boot. Also, enjoy J.K. Simmons as the CEO of the firm and be kinda scared by Cameron Bright's creepiness.





#6
United 93


It's almost embarrassing that the best tribute the tragedy of 9/11 has recieved in five years past is this film about the United Airlines Flight 93 that went down in Pennsylvania. For those of you who aren't up to speed, this flight was the one where the the passengers fought back against the hijackers and sacrificed their lives to save the lives of thousands of others. It's a difficult story to tell, especially amongst the backlash of the morons who think that the event is some kind of sacred ground never to be spoken of. This film is the best thing to happen in a physical way since that day. It's the thing that the families deserve. They have a legacy that can now be shared with millions of people to show how that day really happened from all points of view. Paul Greengrass, the guy who makes the Bourne movies as good as they are, paints this picture from all angles. The passengers, the terrorists (fuck you if you think they should not have representation here. That just shows your shallowness), the flight controllers, the military. It captures the heartbreak and the insanity that happened that day. it captured the red tape, and it captured the insecurities. It's not dramaticized. Its told as a real-time insight into the events that shaped one of the most important days in this country's history. the best thing that can be said about this film is that it's visceral and hard to watch. The movie feels like you're there with these people, not watching actors playing them on a huge screen. I'm looking at you, Nic Cage. The fact that this movie got so overlooked (doubtless because of it's subject matter) is a travesty, as it's one of the most important films of the last five years.





#5
The Fountain


This movie is one man's love letter to death, and it's one of the most vitalizing pictures of the year. Darren Aronofsky, coming off the massive cult/college kid success of Requiem for a Dream, finally shows the world that he's one of the most talented filmmakers working. The film is epic, despite its one hour forty minute running time, and shows a wizardry of visual effects and compositing that degrades the Oscar ceremony for it's blatant overlooking of this gem of a film. Tracking the three stories of a surgeon trying to find a cure for his dying wife's brain cancer, the surgeon in the future seeking the final solution for death, and a conquistador sent on a mission to find the tree of life, the film couldn't be less meandering. Everything it shows is to a point, and it's all to celebrate death as part of life. It's a truly cerebral film. Some would say pretentious. And some will say it's a load of bollocks. That's fine. You have to feel the philosophy to feel the film. Rachel Weisz turns in her usual good performance whie Hugh Jackman shows the world how great he can be if he's given the right stuff. This is an award worthy performance and I think the fact that he was Van Helsing is till hurting his credibility. The Fountain is the best film Aronofsky has ever made, and is one of the most spiritual, moving, and poignant films in the last decade. It's a must-see.





#4
The Departed


Marti Scorsese pretty much topped my 2004 list with The Aviator, and this year he's made his best film since Goodfellas. The Departed is as raucously funny, engaging, and exciting as any of the best films ever made simply for audiences to see, and the cast is quite honestly one of the best ever assembled. The Departed is a remake of a little-seen Chinese flick called Infernal Affairs about duelling moles on either side of the law. the Departed takes that premise and blows it and and fleshes it out into a completely other beast, one that doesn't feel at all derivative of another work, and one that follows its own trajectory and story through, no holds barred. It's gritty, it's violent, it's puerile. Leo DiCaprio lets loose another amazing performance under Scorsese to the point that you'd wish he'd ONLY work with Marty from here on out. Matt Damon gets to unleash the original Boston accent with ferocity as the gang mole in the Police Department. Jack Nicholson eats scenes with his greatness, and although he sometimes resorts to playing himself, he's a truly magnetic performer and hasn't been this good in years. Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin play great support roles ho get the best lines in the whole movie. But the star of the picture is Scorsese, making his most commericially successful film ever and finally locking down the Oscar he's deserved since 1975. Aside from a few small plot contrivances that you're mostly too entertained to notice, there is nothing wrong with this film. It should have a place in any film collection.





#3
Little Children


This biting satire, and touchingly perfect drama peels away all the layers of bullshit in Suburbia, USA by layering the shit cake higher and higher through irony and sophistication. The inner workings of the characters are admirable, the outside of them is despicable. The film is genuinely laugh out loud funny at moments, and breathtakingly agonizing at others. The way people's bad decisions pile upon each other is a majestic thing to behold in the realm of cinema. The story follows a young mother who falls in love and has an affair with another married person to comfort the fact that her marriage is a lie. Although there are several child characters, the title of the film is reserved for the adults, who seem to still live in a world where high school flings and gossip is still the way of life when you're wealthy and middle aged. the stand out performances are Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson as the affaired couple, and Jackie Earle Haley who turns in a brilliant portrayal of a reformed pedophile who is the subject of much scorn and embarassment after moving back in with his mother into an otherwise "peaceful" community. There is something about this film that struck a chord inside of my soul. It's the fact that all the good intentions in the world don't mean a fuck unless the actions back them up official. The fact that this film was leaked more so than placed into theaters is a crime against humanity. Seek it out. It will reward you.





#2
Children of Men


Alfonso Cuaron is the most spiritual filmmaker alive today. In a recent interview he said he's no longer content with making pictures that start when the lights go out. He's only interested in movies that start when the lights come back on. it's that mantra that makes this film a truly modern classic. In 2027, all women are infertile. All the nations in the world have descended into chaos due to the impending death of humanity. Only Britain staggers on, forcefully ignoring the ultimate extinction of humankind. Clive Owens plays a broken man, a former activist, poised in a precarious position that could change the entire future of the planet.Told through the documentary lenses of cameras through interminable and unbelievable tracking shots, Alfonso Cuaron totally and utterly envelops us in the world of post-procreation Earth. No image is for shock or artistic effect. Every image is there to emotionally and visually engross you in its story. No words can describe the power of this film. This is not the best film of 2006. This is a film that you only get to experience a few times in your time on the planet. How fortunate are we that we got two this year?





#1
Pan's Labyrinth


Guillermo del Toro is a filmmaker whose movies I have always enjoyed, but found extremely flawed. One piece of his otherwise fine films left me cold and held him back from being truly great. Pan's Labyrinth is not one of those films. This film is a masterpiece of the art of film. It is a celebration and an examination of the 41 years of its creator's life and its logical progression as an artist and a fan. It is a celebration of innocence and the triumph of the will of the good over the intentions of the evil. Every performance is imbued with greatness, especially Sergi Lopez's truly frightening Captain Vidal. It's a film that deserves novels being written about it, and I have to concise it to a paragraph. It succeeds in the way no other film this year has, in a simply transcendent way. the story of a girl forced into her own imaginary shelter against the oppressive grip of fascism in 1945 Spain is something that can be related to on any level, be it personal or national or worldly. It's a story about hope and the struggle to preserve it against all odds. It's a film that doesn't pander to an audience or spoon-feed it emotions. Everything you get out of it is your own interpretation, and it's the films that allow you to search yourself for meaning that will always truly stand the test of time and criticism. It's phenomenal that the two best films of 2006 were crafted by two Mexican visionaries, and I hope that this expanded worldview sticks through the end of the decade as more and more external sensibilities creep into American productions. Pan's Labyrinth is better than any review written about it, and more powerful than any trailer or image can define it as. It's the single most defining movie of 2006, and one that will hopefully be seen by the thousands of generations to come that could improve their lives and the world aroud them by the simple message it so timelessly delivers. The only thing troublesome about the film is the thought that del Toro may never be able to top it.

Honourable Mention: Slither, The Prestige, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, The Descent

Movies I didn't see: Letters From Iwo Jima, The Last King of Scotland, Little Miss Sunshine, Notes on a Scandal.

_Nicchus Out_
give me something i can feel
The 79th Academy Awards are tomorrow, for Chissakes. Most of the awards will go to meatfaces. This is the long-thought extinct Nicchus Oscar Rundown. Enjoy it like a kick to the chin into icy water.

Key:

Should Win : Underlined.
Will Win: Boldfaced
Getting Dicked: Plain Black text.
Explanations and skullduggery to follow.


Here are the categories that I care about:

Actor in a Leading Role


Leonardo DiCaprio - Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling - Half Nelson
Peter O'Toole - Venus
Will Smith - The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland

Holy Shits! One category in and I've seen NONE of these films! Forest is the leader going in on buzz, and he seems like he'd have the best clip to show for his performance at the show. The Pursuit of Happyness is far too overseen for this to go to Mr. Smith, Leo should have been nominated for his Anthony Anderson harassing in The Departed rather than leading a black man around a jungle in the Zwick Series for White Men Who Heart Not-White People. O'Toole had a better shot at winning Best Lead Actor in Formaldehyde.

Actor in a Supporting Role


Alan Arkin - Little Miss Sunshine
Jackie Earle Haley - Little Children
Djimon Hounsou - Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls
Mark Wahlberg - The Departed

Hollywood has a hard-on for the comeback, even if the comeback is more of a bathroom break from the nether realms of shit-demons. Eddie's got this one in the bag simply for not playing five roles that involve fat suits and fake girl voices. Djimon Hounsou has played Slave thirteen too many times to get an award for playing a slave, and Mark Wahlberg's scene chewing turn in the Departed is fantastic. But too foul mouthed to actually win an award. It truly shocks me that he was the only actor chosen to represent what was one of the best casts ever assembled in a decade. Jackie Earle Haley put on one of the best performances in one of the best movies I saw in 2006, playing a reformed pedophile who moves back in with his mother in a small suburban neighborhood, summoning the ire of all the concerned parents that suburbia houses. It's a deep portrayal and the fact that he's simultaneously causes you to pity and despise him is a great testament to living up to a script. too bad it's gonna go to Norbit. I'll see Sunshine tonight. Maybe I'll change my mind about this race, but I think my heinous thoughts on that film won't change post-viewing.

Actress in a Leading Role


Penelope Cruz - Volver
Judi Dench - Notes on a Scandal
Helen Mirren - The Queen
Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet - Little Children

As much as Penelope's breasts deserve recognition, this category only has one choice. Also, aside from Cruz everyone else in this category has been nominated before - Meryl Streep receiving consecutive nods since Jesus. I'd prefer a Winslet win just so more people would learn how unworldy great Todd Fields' film is. As is, the award's going to Mirren. Period.

Actress in a Supporting Role


Adrianna Barazza - Babel
Cate Blanchett - Notes on a Scandal
Abigail Breslin - Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi - Babel

Babel did dick to impress me, but Rinko Kikuchi did tits to impress me. Still, her role and her performance was complete waste, even if it was one of the few roles to have full frontal nudity in it. I didn't see Notes on a Scandal, and fuck eight-year-old girls. Being nominated. Jennifer Hudson, god willing, will walk out of LA a huge star and not just because she terrorizes da donuts. She well could have been a contender for leading, but Beyonce is a spotlight grubbing whore. Not to sound too much like an EW quip, but Beyonce - We can have another you in a minute. Snubbed!

Animated Feature


Cars
Happy Feet
Monster House

I don't know why I bother, I'm not eight-year-old and didn't see any of these. I was too busy being raped.

Cinematography


The Black Dahlia
Children of Men
The Illusionist
Pan's Labyrinth
The Prestige

Since the Academy has already fucked itself silly by favoring the uninspiring Babel over Children of Men and Pan's Labyrinth for Best Picture by a Mexican, it will enact Julia Roberts over Ellen Burstyn Level fury in my blood if they do not give Children of Men the Cinematography Oscar. It achieves everything possible in film from the technical to the spiritual, and I've got a feeling that I'll be spitting curses tomorrow night when they give the award to the beatiful orange and gold hues of a very decent film. The Black Dahlia doubled it's viewership with the five screeners sent out to academy voters, and the rest of the films (aside from the gorgeous Pan's Labyrinth which owes more to makeup than cinematography) are blah to look at.

Makeup


Pan's Labyrinth
Apocalypto
<--FUCK YOU-->Click<--FUCK YOU-->

Fuck. That.

Visual Effects


Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest
Poseidon
Superman Returns

Davy Jones fucks Poseidon in his lockerroom, while Superman broods over being the last boy picked for the Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Screenplay - Adapted


Borat
Children of Men
The Departed
Little Children
Notes on a Scandal

William Monahan deserves the award for turning the very good chinese film Infernal Affairs into the modern masterpiece The Departed (also, for giving every character at least 20 "fucks" to say) but it's simply not as good as the scathing evaluation of upper-middle class soccer moms (and dads) of Little Children. Borat shouldn't even be nominated as 80% of that film was improv. Children of Men is an infinitely better film than it is a screenplay, and Notes on a Scandal went unseen by me. Little Children deserves it more, but I think the Oscars is gonna go all Southie on us this year.

Screenplay - Original


Babel
Letters from Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
Pan's Labyrinth
The Queen

Few films are as affecting as Guillermo del Toro's unchallenged masterpiece, and the way it ties several engaging storylines into one single, beautiful parable for the power of innocence. But, of course, this month's movie about a dysfunctional family doing silly things (only this time it's in a van!) will walk away with the statue. Clint's films have never been well-written, just filled with gravitas images. The Queen is almost too adapted to be an original screenplay (its based on real things!), and Babel has incomprehensibly stupid people doing incomprehensibly stupid things for two and a half hours and then blaming it on the language barrier (even though, in every scene, there is someone translating for the people that don't understand more than one language). I just hope the Oscars don't let Guillermo down. he deserves it. A lot.

Best Foreign Language Film


After the Wedding
Days of Glory
the Lives of Others
Pan's Labyrinth
Water

the director of the german The Lives of Others said in an interview that he hasn't even prepared a speech because Guillermo's got this one. I agree. For everyone.

Direction


Babel (Alejando Gonzales-Innaritu)
The Departed (Martin Scorsese)
Letters From Iwo Jima (Clint Eastwood)
The Queen (Stephen Frears)
United 93 (Paul Greengrass)

Don't get me wrong. I hope to sweet spaghetti monster that Marty wins this one. Finally, he'll have as many Oscars as the Three 6 Mafia. But, to be fair, Paul Greengrass directed the pain into United 93. that film deserved more attention this year as it's the best tribute the people affected and involved in 9/11 have gotten since the tragedy, and it's not even by an American. Stephen Frears is the definition of Solid Direction, but has done noting exceptional (aside from continually making great films). I'm sick and bloated from fucking Clint Eastwood. His sperm is inflatable. Also, he's never made a classic film. Chew on that. Babel is... decent. Once again, they picked the wrong Mexican for this award.

Best Picture


Babel
The Departed
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
the Queen

Unfortunately, only one of the best five films of the year was nominated tonight (Maybe my list will be up TONIGHT!). The Departed is great. Everything you expect from crime films and Scorsese. Babel is so blatantly stupid in it's premise and conceits that I'm amazed so many people are in love with it. if it wins, expect another Crash-style hatebath from myself. The Queen is far too low-key to take this. And Little Miss Sunshine is the six-year-old kid who walked into the John Holmes Cock of Miles Competition. it should be all smug and happy just to be mentioned. Oh yeah, it's also going to win because movies whose main point is "Fuck you, cunt. Shit, this is a cocksucking bullshit," probably won't get the children-having public excited about showing their family the Martin Scorsese directed/Tourette's scripted Best Picture of 2006. It's just too bad that the Fountain got plugged, and The other two Mexican films of 2006 didn't righty shove Babel off its tower. 02/25/07 will be interesting. Look for a live commentary tomorrow as I enjoy or despise everything that my future profession stands for.

The End.

_Nicchus Out_
give me something i can feel
I was talking about this at work today with a friend as the genesis of my obsession with lining up letters in words to corrolate them, as it is in my friends and my nature to take every joke to its obscene and illiogical conclusion. Many of you are probably to young to have seen this on TV, and those of you who are old enough and haven't, I heap shame all over your quivering mounds of flesh. So, for the uninitiated and the insurmountably ignorant:Some of the best 8 minutes of Dana Carvey's stand-up.

"Dana Carvey Stand-Up" has 17 letters, "Tom Nix Says Watch It" has 17 letters. Can't be a coincidence.
give me something i can feel
There's some new shit over here.

Also, fuck the Patriots.

Also... I don't really care who wins the superbowl because all that matters is that Bill Belichick gets to sit at home and realize what it feels like to sit the fuck out

Enjoy me, hopefully there's a lot more coming.

Subscribe to these things, they will tickle:

The Tom Nix Myspace Blog: More homosexual references than you can shake a dick at.

The Scene 7 Myspace Blog: Everything you didn't already know about movies.
7 atomic bombs // give me something i can feel
This story right here is hilarious just because of the expose style the author(ess) thinks she's responsible for (Porn on teh internets?! OMG the kids!!). Bonus: Comes with the most honestly captioned photo of 2007.

On a related note, go see Children of Men. It is porn. For your brain. To touch itself to.
3 atomic bombs // give me something i can feel
Yeah, it's been over six months since I've posted ANYTHING to ANY website on the internet. Bizarre. Anyway, what I have to say tonight is really very important:




FUCK. YOU. OHIO. STATE.

Yes, you, you god damned piece of trash team. You and all your rabid, hormonal, inbred, homunculus, hive logic horde of followers. I hope you all die in the fire you set in Arizona when you realize that you just lost your only (and most vitally important) game to a team that lost to Auburn. AUBURN.

Morons. I only wish it could have been the Wolverines that forced your slackjaws shut for good. Oh well, the BCS might have a playoff in 2010. This won't be the last time you head back to your (surely decimated) hometown with scarlet cheeks that aren't caused by the facepaint.

Tomorrow's gonna be a truly excellent day.

Thanks, OSU, for making my life better.

Nicchus Out.
2 atomic bombs // give me something i can feel
I have a MySpace page.

I am the thing I hate.
2 atomic bombs // give me something i can feel
2006 1/2 Movie and DVD Review Medley


COMING SOON


Tom Nix (2006)
give me something i can feel
I have respect for Uwe Boll.

Or at least respect in the form of utter comedy. Dr. Boll, the felon behind the films House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne, is making another movie. About a video game. It's called Postal, but that has little to do with this post.

Apparently, Dr. Boll has grown weary of these foolish mortals mocking his vision. They do not know the PAIN of being DOCTOR UWE BOLL. So, like most sane people, he has offered to fight them.

No, seriously. He's going to fight them. With his fists.

I only wish I were a registered movie critic. And 50 pounds lighter.

And Kevin Smith thought he was hardcore for verbally bashing the talkbackers. YOU AIN'T GOT SHIT ON BOLL, SMITH!

Official for 2007: Tom Nix challenges Kevin Smith to a submission match (First one out of breath loses. Match Time Limit: 5 minutes).
3 atomic bombs // give me something i can feel
I'm going to see X3 tonight. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hate the shit out of it, and it's mother. I'll TRY to get a review up tonight that is worthy of my Berry-Hate or my Jugger-Indifference. I do have to be at work tomorrow at 9.

Also, if this passes, I would be infinitely more likely to buy cable.

Nicchus Out.
1 atomic bomb // give me something i can feel
I am going to participate in the Cincinnati 48 Hour Film Project on June 9th - 11th.

You pick a genre out of a hat, and are given a character, prop. and line of dialogue to appear in the film. From that moment on, you have two days to write, shoot, score, and edit a film. It's gonna be fun. And sleepless.

Also, Spielberg's "On The Lot" has opened up applications. Deadline's September 1st for a five minute film that will be judged for casting on the new reality show on FOX. Apparently the grand prize for the winner is an office job at Dreamworks Studios (and some sort of first look deal with them, I imagine).

Regardless, anyone who wants to act in either of these movies (Crew should be taken care of) should get in contact with me, more urgently on the 48HFP. We shoot June 10th. Hopefully I can get the script to whatever genre we get done by the night before. Let me know if you want to blindly be in a 7 minute film that doesn't have any set plot or base that will be played in front of lots of people in downtown Cincinnati.

Oh yeah. I'm excited. Anyone have any caffiene?

Nicchus Out.
2 atomic bombs // give me something i can feel
OMFG.

4 atomic bombs // give me something i can feel